Saturday, March 10, 2012

Not a Happy Post

Things that annoy me: (I'm realistic enough to know that this will probably be part one of many future posts.)

Sorry in advance for the feisty language.

1. People here tend to get annoyed with the fact that people from the United States refer to themselves as Americans. I mean, I sort of get it. Okay, no I don't. I realize that there are many countries in continents with America in its name. But say you're from Chile or Paraguay. You can refer to yourselves as Chilean or Paraguayan (I actually had to look that one up). Well, I'm from the United States (of America). I have no other word to call myself other than American. Sorry. Not my fault. I didn't make it up. So please don't say that Americans are being rude or selfish for calling themselves American. Until "United Statesean" catches on, I have no other options. So piss off.

2. I realize things taught in school here might be different from what I was taught. Example: the continents of the world. I grew up with seven: Africa, Asia, Europe, Australia, Antarctica, North AND South America. Here children are taught that North and South America are one continent simply named America. That's fine. I don't care. I'll call it whatever you want. But please don't go on and on about how us Americans are being selfish and greedy by wanting it split into two continents. I mean please. How on earth does it benefit anyone to have an extra continent? Last time I checked the US is not the only country in what I know to be North America. For all you know it's Canada's fault. (Sorry, Canada.)

2.B. When discussing things please only contribute logical facts. When I say that North and South America are separate continents, don't justify it being only one continent because they're connected. Look at a map you silly idiot! Europe, Asia and Africa are all connected! But you still separate them into three continents. Your argument is invalid.

3. Don't assume I don't speak any Spanish. Especially without asking me first. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard people say "well she's been here long enough, she should have learned Spanish by now" I'd have enough money to buy any item from the dollar menu at McDonald's. Well judgmental asshole, why don't you move to a foreign country where you don't speak the language and see how you feel when people give you crap for not speaking the language.

3.B. Please don't go on and on about how us Gringos speak such awful Spanish. Fuck off. At least we're trying. And why the hell would I want to speak Spanish in front of you after hearing you imitate Gringos? Save your impersonations for someone who cares (i.e. another asshole).

4. Sorry if you don't agree with something that a politician is doing in my country. But please don't assume all citizens agree with the politicians. I mean, do you agree with everything your president does? I didn't think so.  And get off your damn high horse by bringing up shit that happened hundreds of years ago. "I can't believe that your country had slaves." Read a history book asshole. It happened here too, you ignorant fool.

This concludes my current list of grievances.

Luckily for me I had to deal with each and every one of these all week long. As I contemplated how stupid people are I came to the conclusion that I need to keep more white wine in my fridge.

***Updated April 1, 2012.
I just wanted to add that while I have had to deal with ignorant fools while being here, the majority of the people I meet on a day to day basis are incredibly nice! Most people are very helpful and patient with me as I try to use my slightly higher than beginners level Spanish.


  1. Witty & Vaguely Sarcastic

    Listen Chilena - U.S. folk from 'merica are almighty proud of absconding with the label for the entire continent. Yuh, (sound of spit hitting spittoon) we done committed the perfect crime. Grass-E-Ass for note-US-ing - Possession being 9/10ths of the law and all that. Want to fight US for it?
    I'm sorry I did not hear your response:
    Please press one to continue in English
    Para Espanol apretar el numero dos
    >Combining 3&4<
    Newt Gingrich
    Language of the Ghetto
    Yep - we has us more ugly Americans in the US of A than anywhere else in the world.
    Slaves hmmmmmmmm that's a tough one --- can you say "Liberty of womb" law ... Chile 1823 - no need to ban it if it wasn't there in the first place. If instead the conversation is about perceived second class citizenship - I do believe that the Chilean population is speaking out about that now ... as is a good part of the world including the USA. --- I think I remember hearing something about glass houses and stones ...

    Robin Williams provides my quote of choice here:
    "Assholes do vex me"


  2. oh joseph. i think i understood about 1/4 of what you just wrote.

  3. It all comes down to the Robin Williams quote.
    If you understood that then you understood the tone.
    The rest was just me continuing your rant in my own Joe-ish way .... just roll your eyes up and move on >>smile<<.

    Side note: Welcome to all the new people and the two new countries since I last welcomed people. Sorry for my inattentiveness I've just been very lax lately in doing my official greeter job. Apologies.

  4. Great post!! very informative.
    Thank you very much for such a lovely and informative post.