Here are the top five side effects of teaching.
1. I have no fewer than four bruises on my legs at all times. These are the result of constantly bumping into desks and tables. It probably doesn't help that I'm a bit clumsy.
2. Given the subject matter I teach, I now possess random bits of information that I would suspect many people don't know. For example, I now know the difference between the small and large intestine (other than the fact that one is small and one is large), how to build a chinampa, and I can name all 8 parts of speech (and use them in a sentence). Of course most of this information would only come in handy if I was competing on 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader'.
3. Every week when we have art class I leave school either covered in marker, pastels, glue or paint. This is why I prefer colored pencils. There's no mess with colored pencils.
4. I leave work every day with the side of my right hand covered in white board marker. Because clearly using an eraser takes up too much time.
5. And of course the worst side effect of teaching is the one I'm dealing with right now. A cold. Ever since we returned to school two weeks ago, I have not had a full class. Students have been out sick every day. And well, it was only a matter of time before I got to join the club. Nasty little buggers.
Bonus side effect:
6. Given the age group I teach (10- and 11-year-olds) I unfortunately know more than anyone should about singers like Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez and One Direction. I actually started the year off not having even heard of One Direction. Oh, those were the good old days.